Happy marriage

1. Aiming to tempt Jesus some Pharisees asked him, Is it lawful for a man to put his wife away for any reason? Jesus answered them, Have not you read that God made humans male and female? Therefore a man leaves his parents, joins his wife and the two become one flesh. They are no longer two, but one flesh. Thus let nobody put asunder those whom God has joined together. They asked him, Why then did Moses command to give wife a bill of divorce and put her away? He answered them, Moses permitted you to put your wives away due to the hardness of your hearts. But it was different in the beginning. I say to you that, except on account of fornication¹, whoever divorces his wife and joins another commits cheating²,³ and whoever marries the divorced woman commits cheating⁴. (Matthew 19:3-9.)

2. God’s laws are perfect and permanent. In contrast, the human statutes are deficient and change according to the place and time, following moral evolution. Monogamy adoption marks a human progress. Marriage, institution that regulates this advancement, is governed by both human and divine laws.

Civil legislation adjusts interest of family and its members. All over the planet, even in Christendom, unexist countries that have identical matrimony laws or whose rules have remained unchanged. Therefore what is considered illegal at a time may become permitted at another and vice versa.

3. But alongside human law there is a divine decree that should always be respected in any marital relationship: the love law. Material interest is insufficient for marriage because family is expected to be a therapeutic sanctuary of love. When divine law presides home, two adults, instead of just one, tend to protect the family, watch over the children, give them affection and promote their spiritual betterment. Do the human regulation require for marriage any compliance with the law of love? No. The couple's true feelings are often neglected. Instead of listening to the conscience voice, many people still prioritize satisfaction of pride and selfishness and, then, attract pain to themselves.

Human law is incapable to force a matter-alone bond to last long. On the other hand, even severe difficulties use to be unable to erase the pure feeling that links two fond souls. Love moves the Universe. No physical interest replaces heart's advice. To protect home harmony, spouses must have the love tools that enable them to, like good caretakers, pull out from family garden all weeds that sprout from pride and selfishness.

Love law disregard is the root cause of many unhappy associations, which sometimes degenerate into crime. Such pain would be prevented if people followed the God’s law. The words “The two will be one flesh” and “No one separates whom God has united” refer thus to obedience to the love law, not to the human convention.

4. Is then the marriage human law useless? Certainly not. Civil code regulates society and family. It is useful but faulty and changeable. Nothing prevents it from being a consequence of the law of God. Many evils result from wedlock based on material-only motivation. It is more charitable freeing two incompatible souls than keeping them chained one another. Love law violation comes from ignorance and prejudice, vices that will disappear with moral advancement.⁵

5. Divorce officially separates those who are already estranged. The law of love is not violated by this human rule, because it just formalizes an existing situation and only applies in fondness absence. The more the people abide by the love law, the fewer divorces will exist.

1 - The word fornication allows several interpretations. A broad meaning, which seems to be aligned with Jesus' thought, is immorality. So the practice of an immorality in general, a crime for instance, would justify divorce. A more limited sense is sexual immorality and an even narrower reading is adultery. - Version author.

2 - When establishing that a husband would only be permitted to divorce his wife if she had committed fornication, Jesus canceled the man's ancient right of arbitrarily dismissing her. Thus Christ replaced a barbaric tradition by a more civilized law. - Version author.

3 - We can update this passage by replacing the word wife with spouse. After this change the text becomes: “(...) except on account of fornication whoever divorces their spouse and joins another commits cheating.” - Version author.

4 - By forbidding the due-to-adultery disowned wife to remarry, Jesus replaced the brutal punishment then foreseen for an adulteress, which was death by stoning, with a softer penalty. Such prohibition was abandoned due to the moral evolution that society has experienced since then. - Version author.

5 - Marital harmony is a shared spiritual wealth that demands patient construction by four hands through several bodily existences. Hence the following reflection: how many reincarnations must it take for a couple to achieve excellence in companionship? - Version author.

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Allan Kardec's The Gospel According to Spiritism (2022 version by Cesar Bezerra) CHAPTER 22. LET NO ONE SEPARATE WHOM GOD HAS UNITED
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Wedding. - Divorce. Wedding 1. Aiming to tempt Jesus some Pharisees asked him, Is it lawful for a man to put his wife away for any reason? Jesus answered them, Have not you read that God made humans male and female? Therefore a man leaves his parents, joins his wife and the two become one flesh. They are no longer two, but one flesh. Thus let nobody put asunder those whom God has joined together. They asked him, Why then did Moses command to give wife a bill of divorce and put her away? He answered them, Moses permitted you to put your wives away due to the hardness of your hearts. But it was different in the beginning. I say to you that, except on account of fornication¹, whoever divorces his wife and joins another commits cheating²,³ and whoever marries the divorced woman commits cheating⁴. (Matthew 19:3-9.) 2. God’s laws are perfect and permanent. In contrast, the human statutes are deficient and change according to the place and time, following moral evolution. Monogamy adoption marks a human progress. Marriage, institution that regulates this advancement, is governed by both human and divine laws. Civil legislation adjusts interest of family and its members. All over the planet, even in Christendom, unexist countries that have identical matrimony laws or whose rules have remained unchanged. Therefore what is considered illegal at a time may become permitted at another and vice versa. 3. But alongside human law there is a divine decree that should always be respected in any marital relationship: the love law. Material interest is insufficient for marriage because family is expected to be a therapeutic sanctuary of love. When divine law presides home, two adults, instead of just one, tend to protect the family, watch over the children, give them affection and promote their spiritual betterment. Do the human regulation require for marriage any compliance with the law of love? No. The couple's true feelings are often neglected. Instead of listening to the conscience voice, many people still prioritize satisfaction of pride and selfishness and, then, attract pain to themselves. Human law is incapable to force a matter-alone bond to last long. On the other hand, even severe difficulties use to be unable to erase the pure feeling that links two fond souls. Love moves the Universe. No physical interest replaces heart's advice. To protect home harmony, spouses must have the love tools that enable them to, like good caretakers, pull out from family garden all weeds that sprout from pride and selfishness. Love law disregard is the root cause of many unhappy associations, which sometimes degenerate into crime. Such pain would be prevented if people followed the God’s law. The words “The two will be one flesh” and “No one separates whom God has united” refer thus to obedience to the love law, not to the human convention. 4. Is then the marriage human law useless? Certainly not. Civil code regulates society and family. It is useful but faulty and changeable. Nothing prevents it from being a consequence of the law of God. Many evils result from wedlock based on material-only motivation. It is more charitable freeing two incompatible souls than keeping them chained one another. Love law violation comes from ignorance and prejudice, vices that will disappear with moral advancement.⁵ Divorce 5. Divorce officially separates those who are already estranged. The law of love is not violated by this human rule, because it just formalizes an existing situation and only applies in fondness absence. The more the people abide by the love law, the fewer divorces will exist. _____________ 1 - The word fornication allows several interpretations. A broad meaning, which seems to be aligned with Jesus' thought, is immorality. So the practice of an immorality in general, a crime for instance, would justify divorce. A more limited sense is sexual immorality and an even narrower reading is adultery. - Version author. 2 - When establishing that a husband would only be permitted to divorce his wife if she had committed fornication, Jesus canceled the man's ancient right of arbitrarily dismissing her. Thus Christ replaced a barbaric tradition by a more civilized law. - Version author. 3 - We can update this passage by replacing the word wife with spouse. After this change the text becomes: “(...) except on account of fornication whoever divorces their spouse and joins another commits cheating.” - Version author. 4 - By forbidding the due-to-adultery disowned wife to remarry, Jesus replaced the brutal punishment then foreseen for an adulteress, which was death by stoning, with a softer penalty. Such prohibition was abandoned due to the moral evolution that society has experienced since then. - Version author. 5 - Marital harmony is a shared spiritual wealth that demands patient construction by four hands through several bodily existences. Hence the following reflection: how many reincarnations must it take for a couple to achieve excellence in companionship? - Version author.
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